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The Plastic MasticatorA Dogs Annoying Habit

by Bobbi Adams


Much as I hate to admit it, the time has come. We have no choice. We must take our dog Hubbub to a shrink. Other canines like bones, slippers, rawhide, or dog biscuits. Ours likes anything made of plastic. Give her a piece of plastic and she worries it and us to distraction. I can't wait until a shrink gets to the bottom of her puppy phobia.

I can see it now. Hubbub is lying on a couch in the shrink's office I am about to tell him to get down off the couch, when the shrink says, "The reason you are a kibble short of dog food, Hubbub, is that you don't know who your father is. Not only that, but it is obvious your mother was frightened by a Tupperware dealer."

Hubbub looks at him through glazed eyes as she takes another chunk out of his plastic-covered upholstery.

Then he'll turn to us and warn, "Picnics are out of the question. So much plastic cutlery in one place may cause an emotional trauma from which she may never recover."

We are as shattered as the plastic figurine Hubbub is enjoying.

In the meantime, our collection of 78 records are becoming 45's. Toothbrushes rub Hubbub's gums instead of ours. She is constantly in a tizzy determining whether Pepsi or Coke bottles taste better. Have you ever seen a dog with human dentures in her mouth? It's not a pretty sight.

I can't write about this any longer. Not that it is too painful. The truth is, Hubbub is eying my ball point pen.

If you want to read about family foibles, and finding the FUN in dysFUNctional, CLICK HERE



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